I am finished with the stressful day job. Thank you Grandma! My grandma died at the end of March and even though she was elderly, not well and ready to go, I was not prepared for how much her death would affect me. Luckily I was able to go back to Canada for the Celebration of Life for her and reconnect with family.
What I wasn’t able to do was incorporate back into my life here as it had been before. Somehow I had been affected deeply and was not able to just walk back into a stressful job that I couldn’t stand. I couldn’t understand what I was here in Spain for if I was so unhappy in my job, where I spent most of my time. I couldn’t understand why I came here... it was supposed to be for a better quality of life. But if the majority of my time was spent doing something that I hated, and very negative and stressful, why was I here?
I did go back to the job. I lasted until August until I actually broke down and needed time off. This led to an agreement with my boss in the autumn so that I could leave on good terms.
So now, I find myself spending more time with my daughter and husband than I have in years. I take morning walks along the boardwalk each day. I am here for my daughter when she gets home from school, with lunch ready... I am able to listen to them and be with them, without feeling rushed to get something else done. Our financial situation is SERIOUSLY reduced but it’s okay. I am okay sharing a car with my husband... I can walk and take the bus most places. I am okay dying my hair with the supermarket dye, instead of going to the salon. I am okay walking down to the local market each Friday to get fruits and vegetables instead of rushing to the mass supermarket for something quick.
And... I am going to focus more on doing what I love... what I feel passionate about. And remind myself not to get caught up again in things I don’t love... just for money. I remember vividly the day my now ex-boss promoted me. I said to him “I am not sure I want that job. I did not come to Spain for money. I came to Spain for better Quality of Life.” He said “Won’t earning more money imply a better Quality of Life?” I said “No, I don’t believe it will.” But, I didn’t listen to my own heart and I took the job and spent 4 and ½ years in something so negative for me that I eventually got sick from it. I need to remember to listen to my heart, to my gut feelings.
Within the next couple of months, I will be turning my soap-making hobby officially into a business. I know there won’t be a monthly paycheque. I know it may take some time to build up clients. I know there may not be a lot of income for a while. European/ Spanish standards and regulations are high and I even need a dedicated space (not able to produce out of my own kitchen) so I am going through all of these procedures now in order to open properly.
I don’t usually post personal posts here, but I wanted to let you all know what has been going on. Of course I will let you know when I officially open!
Happy Soaping. Be happy. Do what you love.
Xo
Jen
PS. As I always prefer visual posts, I attach some of my favourite photos that I took on our trip to Mallorca.
